The price of survival

Nothing is really mine
Except the immense helplessness before all that is life.
I paid survival all that i had:
The coins of what I knew, of what I felt.
Sometimes survival is so dear.
Title;
He said: I don't dream anymore.
He said it with the cracked voice
Of someone who tells the truth.
I looked at the ruins of her body in his pupils.
I knew he didn't have to dream
In order to see her.

Background: a survivor whose wife died. I speak.